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#DBCBookBlogs: TeamMakers

/ Alicia Ray / 1 Comment

When is the last time you worked with others as a team to achieve a goal? How far back to you have to think? Are you lucky enough to be part of a terrific team right now?

I love the focus of the 81st book in the Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc line! TeamMakers: Positively Impacting the Lives of Children through District-Wide Dreaming, Collaborating, and Change is written by Laura Robb and Evan Robb. There is a clear emphasis on creating sustainable change as a district. I’m blown away by the way Laura & Evan take on this topic, which has the potential to create scapegoats for educators on every level. They address each level head on – central office administration, building administration, and teachers – and share how each of us as a role to play in the betterment of our schools for students.

TeamMakers

Some of the quotes that really resonated with me are:

“…in many classrooms technology is simply an ornament. How students learn hasn’t changed.”

“…when staff and administrators share with students dreams and personal stories about their teaching and learning lives, students feel safe to share theirs. Sharing dreams and stories builds positive relationships.”

“…risk-taking can initially raise fear and uncertainty but ultimately produce enthusiasm and courage.”

“…no one role is more valuable than another.” -Marc Ferris, EdD

I also truly enjoyed Chapter 8: Mentors and Coaches! The interludes from current educators at various levels was enlightening and terrific examples how it looks when true teamwork is happening everywhere in a district. There is so much to take away from this book, and it presents the perfect literature to create a district-wide book study! The whole idea is that we can’t make it happen unless we are willing to put in the work and create a team that has one another’s backs. We must all share a vision and a mission to move education forward in a system.

I am so blessed to work in a school system where this idea of TeamMakers is a reality. There is always room for improvement, but my school system is frequently leading the way and as a whole, we function as a pretty impressive team.

Implementation

Valuing the work of every individual in a system is vital to a team achieving its goals.

My oldest daughter plays softball, and she has played right field in every season. After playing softball for many years myself, I knew what playing “right field” meant – or so I thought I did. I jokingly said something to one of her coaches about Bailey playing right field because she was still learning and had a l.o.n.g. way to go in coordination, speed, processing the play of the game, etc. He (rightfully) put me in my place by telling me she’s in right field because we can count on her to always back up the play on first base. She’s in right field because she’s got a decent arm on her. She’s in right field because when a ball gets by her, she’ll go chase it down. Every position on the softball field is important because every position has their own role to making sure the team achieves success.

My implementation is to make sure that every person I come in contact with feels valued. Sometimes our custodians, nutrition workers, nurses, front office staff, assistants, etc feel as though they aren’t as important as the classroom teachers. In education, the focus, unfortunately, is on test scores – so unless someone is a classroom teacher in a tested subject area, it can be easy to overlook their importance to the team. Every person in the building has a purpose and a value to the overall dream. I have no idea what this will look like, but I’m going to come up with some way to help others feel valued, and continue to feel valued throughout the year.

Check out the Sneak Peek video from the authors (link here)! You can also get a free preview by visiting this website (scroll to the bottom)!

Follow along with the conversation using #TeamMakers and be sure to pick up your copy of Laura & Evan‘s book! I believe you’ll enjoy it & it will help you look at each role with a new lens.

#DBCBookBlogs: Teach Me, Teacher

/ Alicia Ray / 3 Comments

May 17, 1995… it’s a day I will never forget. That’s the day my mom and dad separated. They had been married for 12 years, 11 months, and 5 days. I was almost 10 years old. The divorce was finalized a little over a year later. It was not pretty. Nothing about the divorce was pleasant. Nothing was amicable. I love both my mom and my dad so very much, but it was hell growing up with them despising each other. They are polar opposites in almost every way and sometimes I wonder how in the world they made it as long as they did. My house was full of fighting as I grew up. There are so many stories I could share, and so many stories in which I don’t know the full story, and even more stories that I have done everything I can to push completely out of my mind. I won’t share any specifics from that time period because one day my daughters may read this and I want them to always know their grandparents as they are now.

When my mom remarried a couple years after the divorce, I think I remember being excited. I was her “maid of honor” and I remember wearing a burgundy lace dress. My mom looked stunning and oh-so-happy. Not long before I left for college, my mom and stepdad got into a fight. I stepped in to protect my mom and he pushed me hard enough that I went through a wall. When they separated and I testified in court against him, he swore up and down that he never put a hand on me. Their divorce was finalized soon after. He still works in a neighboring town. Seeing him makes my skin crawl. I try not to “hate” others, but I certainly still harbor ill will toward him. I know that forgiveness would likely free me from this pit in my stomach when I see or think of him, but that forgiveness for an act from 16 years ago is not coming easily.

TeachMeTeacher

Stories like these, and so many more, were what I recalled when I read Teach Me, Teacher by Jacob Chastain. Reading Jacob’s stories brought back suppressed memories of my childhood. I would read a page or two and have to stop reading while I confronted some of those memories head on. Some of the memories I tried to shove back where they came from, locking them away and hoping to never remember them again. There is nothing quite like the guilt of loving both parents and feeling like you’re letting one down because you show the other love.

Both of my parents have their own version of the truth about various incidents and I will never know which pieces of both stories are the actual truth. Because they see it through different lenses, both versions are skewed (although both would say that their version is the gospel truth, and to them, it is). Even to this day, I struggle when both of my parents are in the same room (or even the same town). My younger brother (he’s nearly 30 now) handles this much better than I do. I wish I could be more like him. I have a family picture of the four of us from the early-mid 90s. The only other picture I have with both of my parents and my younger brother was from my brother’s wedding 3 years ago. Imagine that… I waited 20 years to have that picture. I cherish it.

Like Jacob, I learned a lot of life lessons that taught me to be a better teacher. In fact, they taught me to be a better person. I’m more empathetic. Like Jacob, I dove into books. My preference, however, was realistic fiction because I could imagine myself living the lives of the characters in the book rather than my own. Jacob’s story is so powerful. The way he transfers the lessons he learned from his own horrible experiences into our roles as educators is exceptional. His vulnerability touches my heart. He speaks about being the ‘camera’ in our classrooms, picking up on the subtleties that other might miss. I have watched my own home videos and they hurt so bad to watch. I can hear the spiteful murmurs in the background that I overlooked at a child. I understand the inflection in my parents’ voices as an adult that I never picked up on as a child. The camera picks it all up, and remembers the good and the bad for you. Jacob nailed that chapter!

Also like Jacob, I choose to move forward, using the lessons from my own past as an asset rather than viewing them as an obstacle, a series of never-ending hurdles that I continue to try to jump. As I read Jacob’s book, I thought about those teachers who were there for me in ways I never realized until I became a teacher myself. The times they went above and beyond for me. Some things were simple, like my 2nd grade teacher allowing me to hold the class bunny (a stuffed toy) much longer than any other child got to hold it because I needed that security. Some things were more pointed, the teachers who pushed me and never allowed my story to become my crutch.

Implementation

 

As the implementation of this book, I am creating a personalized thank you card for every teacher I had in my own K-12 education journey. I will be giving these to each of my former teachers very soon. Each card is similar in that it has the teacher’s yearbook photo, as well as mine, from the year they taught me (or the year that stands out to me most if I had them multiple years). Then I share a memory, something they taught me, and/or a special connection we made during my time in their class. Most importantly, I say thank you and that I love them. But shhh, I don’t want them to know about their surprise just yet (I doubt they read my blog, haha). To my knowledge, only one of my former teachers has passed away, so I will share her card with you here.

I am so grateful for each of my teachers who took the time to show me love and believed in me. I am grateful to Jacob for writing this incredible book, which ripped off an old band-aid that I didn’t even realize was still there. In many ways, ripping off that band-aid allows me to truly begin the long, long process of healing. The most beautiful thing about this book is the hope that it gives the readers. In many cases, we don’t know what our students are going through… Jacob’s first person account of his childhood, what very well might be happening in any one (likely more) of my students’ homes tonight, breaks my heart, but knowing that I can be one of the teachers who lifts them up tomorrow and shows them they are more than their circumstances brings about a greater sense of purpose.

Please do yourself and your students (especially those who are like Jacob and me) a favor and get a copy of Jacob’s book, Teach Me Teacher (free preview at the bottom of this page). I believe it will inspire some deep emotions and powerful reflections in every person that reads it. It will bring about compassion, a bit more understanding, and a boatload of empathy to readers everywhere.

And Jacob, you’ve got a big hug coming when I get to meet you one of these days! Thank you for being so raw, open, and honest. I cannot fathom how hard it was to write these stories in such detail, reliving them again and again throughout the entire process, to allow us to learn from you. Thank you.

#DBCBookBlogs: Beyond Us

/ Alicia Ray / Leave a comment

Every once in a while I will read a book that has so much heart and soul dripping from the words that I can’t help but to tear up while reading it. The 78th book in the Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc line is one of those books. The best part is that it’s a picture book and can inspire empathy in our children through the author’s words and the illustrator’s images. Meet Beyond Us by Aaron Polansky with illustrations from Rin Rezendes.

BeyondUs

This true story tells of a young lady who asks for $50 from her father so she can go shopping with her friends (promising to return everything she purchases). Aaron shares with us the battles of wanting to fit in and treating others with kindness. The daughter then thinks of several students in her school who needed kindness and chooses to spend the money in a way that shows acceptance and love toward others. You’ll need to grab a copy of the book to see what it is that she does and how she models kindness and acceptance of others.

The words are amazing, and the illustrations are breath-taking! Rin is a student and he has placed many subtle messages for us in his images! Check out more in this article from Sippican Week, a newspaper in southern Massachusetts!

Do you see the tip of the hat to the LGBTQ community here? There’s stuff like this everywhere in this book!  (I also LOVE that quote!)

In the foreword, Aaron brings so much passion and truth in two short pages! He says,

“…be brave and love who you are, love what you do, and help others do the same.”

“We all have the ability to change the world for the better.”

“Ask without judging. Check in – not just with students…”

“In a profession like education with no shortage of acronyms, I consider ‘RUOK’ to be the most important four letters for educators to remember.”

The timing of this book could not be more perfect. I want to share a moment with you, but I need you to promise to finish the entire blog before judging. Okay?

Okay.

§§§

I grew up in a very spiritual, religious, conservative home. In our home, homosexuality was not acceptable. It was an abomination. Insert scripture here, judgment there, and finish off with overall negativity and shunning over here.

As I became aware of my own emotions and opinions, I realized that while I didn’t quite “accept” the lifestyle, I didn’t believe it was worth alienating other people. I was of the mindset that if it didn’t impact me directly, it wasn’t that big of a deal. When issues of homosexuality and gender identity came on the news, I’d just turn the channel. I’ve never considered myself to be homophobic, I just didn’t have a personal reason to be involved. And I didn’t understand it.

Then, I transitioned to teaching middle school. I found myself in situations where students were choosing to come out, and of all people, I was the first person they told!  When I looked into the eyes of children I had known for years and saw their anguish and their fears of how I would react, yet trusting me with something so important to them – it tore me apart. While I still don’t understand (and can never truly understand because I’ve never experienced it myself), I now have a personal reason to be involved.

These students are my kids. They are worth love and respect. I accept them. The first student who came out to me told me in a survey response that just gave them the space to share anything on their mind. It only took about 5 seconds for me to decide how I felt about it. I immediately found them in the school and took them to the side. I told them that I’d seen the response to the survey question and gave them a big hug! I told them that I accepted them and if they ever needed anything, they are always welcome in the media center.  ::cue tears::

A few months ago, a student shared with me that she preferred to be called by a masculine name (no longer using her ‘dead name’) and wanted pronouns “he/him/his” used. That night I stopped at a bookstore and bought two copies of The Art of Being Normal and he and I read that book together. I learned so much about the transgender community and continue to learn more every day. Many of my students are members of the LGBTQ community and they need to know they are accepted and loved. One way I can show that is by learning about social norms within the community and doing what I can to eliminate my own ignorance.

It’s not about me and my opinions; it’s not even about them. It’s helping others to understand that we are “us”. I am a straight Christian teacher, and I support the LGBTQ community. I believe that we are called to love one another, period. God does not call us to love one another unless they are different from you.

Love. One. Another.

My implementation for this book is simple. I will continue to advocate for students in the LGBTQ community in my small town in rural North Carolina. This fight is not just their fight anymore. It’s ours, and I stand with them. I hope you will do the same.

Beyond Us is a powerful example of love, acceptance, and what the world could possibly look like if we see the value in every person. Check out Aaron‘s latest blog post here. He outlines some incredible discussion starters and ideas to incorporate from the book! Also check out his first picture book (& DBC, Inc’s first picture book), Dolphins in Trees! Below is a sneak peek with Aaron and Rin. I love their interaction here! It’s clear how important they are to one another.

I do not share this post to invite criticism and hate, so if you’re bringing that, take it back with you. Don’t come at me with that. The world is full of hate, especially on social media lately. Sometimes my feed reflects people that are being plain cruel to others, and I follow educators!!! I ask that you simply love, show compassion, empathy, and acceptance. Our world needs more of that. And to start showing more compassion, empathy, and acceptance, grab a couple of copies of Beyond Us and share with your friends! This true story truly does have implications for all of us! Well-done, Aaron, Rin, and the DBC, Inc crew!