Reflection

#DBC50Summer 48/50: Sparks in the Dark Part Two?!

/ Alicia Ray / 1 Comment

Wait a minute, what? This is supposed to be book 49! What is going on here?

I’ll tell you what’s going on. I stinking read the rest of Sparks in the Dark this evening and I am so pumped up by Todd Nesloney and Travis Crowder! (Travis apparently is another hometown hero – had no idea he lived in NC until the end of the book; did I miss that somewhere? Home field advantage – I’ve got to come see you, Travis!)

I thoroughly enjoyed the first 7 chapters of this book and it was mostly about reading and integrating that into every content area and why reading is so important to our students. Well, then I read the last 6 chapters and I’ll be darned if I wasn’t inspired by their words on writing and now I’ve got to reflect and write an implementation plan for that.

Yes, you heard that right… This book is so doggone good that I’ve got to write two posts, reflecting and connecting to the text, then create another implementation plan – just based on (as Travis and Todd say) “illuminating the writing lives” in my students! Well-done, fellas; well-done!

As a child (I couldn’t have been more than 9 or 10) I sat at my old Windows computer (which required DOS prompts) and wrote chapters about realistic fiction. They were typically a knock-off of adventures in The Babysitter’s Club series by Ann Martin.

I kept a diary that I wrote in every night from the time I was in 1st or 2nd grade and distinctly remember writing a heartfelt post about the day my mom and dad officially split up and my dad walked out the door, when I was in 5th grade.

In 4th grade (Mrs. Byrd’s class), I wrote a lengthy answer to an essay question about changes in transportation in North Carolina on a social studies test. It is the first time I recall writing and enjoying writing at school. She was so impressed with the answer that it became an exemplar, which blew me away.

In 7th grade, we were required to write in a journal each week. Fridays were days for writing and we chose from 101 writing prompts and just wrote whatever we desired. Mine started out focused on the boy I had a [not-so-] secret crush on at the time. (I was 12, give me a break!) They evolved into more thought-provoking pieces of current events, as well as imaginative writing.

From there, school killed my love of writing. It became a chore.

When my ex-fiance and I broke off our engagement, I picked up writing again. I shared my “deepest, darkest secrets” in my journal (because calling it a diary felt so juvenile). I wrote my feelings, my apprehension about this new future, completely separated from the future I had imagined for years. When I met my husband for the first time, I wrote about him the night I got home. I wrote about the feeling that “this might be the one.” (Yes, I knew from the moment I met him, as did he… we were engaged in 6 weeks, married within the year, and through good, bad, and sometimes incredibly ugly we’re celebrating 12 years in December.)

Then social media kicked in. I found facebook (oddly enough) to be an outlet. It wasn’t as “deep-dark secret” as my journal had been, but it was a place to chronicle my life’s events. I would share my love for my job, day-to-day events, and yes, even what I ate at night (especially if it was Outback Steakhouse, one of my very favorites). I wrote about heartbreaks and shared with my family and closest friends – when we miscarried babies in not one… not two… but three different pregnancies, when I lost my Nanny (one of my biggest cheerleaders), and when my husband lost his job months after our youngest daughter was born.

Now… it’s blogging. This is my space. (See what I did there… y’all remember that? Whew – blast from the past!) It’s where I share my thoughts. Don Murray was so right when he says (as quoted in Sparks in the Dark), “You write to discover what you want to say.”

So my implementation plan is completely different from anything I’ve done to this point. I’m telling y’all… this book has grabbed my soul! It’s stirred something deep down. It’s awoken a passion that I didn’t realize I had; something completely different from what the math teacher in me would have ever admitted to having a passion for. Writing. It’s not about writing to a prompt. It’s not about answering the question of the day, or answering an essay question on a test. Like reading, it’s about choice. Choosing what you want to write about. It’s about getting your thoughts on paper (or screen, pick your poison). It’s about reflection. My best reflections have come through writing. Not verbal conversation with others. But through my own quiet time, after my family is asleep… when I sit in the middle section of our sectional wrapped up in a blanket with my heavily-stickered MacBook Pro in my lap. When I write. That’s when I discover what I want to say. Sometimes there are (what feels like) a bazillion typos. You may notice them. I do, too. I will eventually edit. But right now, it’s all so raw. I just want to get it out.

This implementation plan isn’t for me. It’s not even really for my students. It’s for you.

I challenge you to write. I challenge you to share your writing with others. Maybe it’s a journal (I don’t recommend sharing your deepest-darkest secrets with just anyone though… just sayin’). Maybe it’s a Google Doc. Maybe it’s a writing notebook. Maybe… just maybe it’s a blog. Whatever it is, write. Write to figure out what you believe. Figure out your passions. Figure out who you are. I’m 33 years old, and I am just discovering who Alicia Ray really is. Sometimes, she scares the crap out of me. Sometimes, I feel like she’s not enough. Sometimes, I love her. But she’s always me. And the best way to share her, this voice inside my head, is through writing. So, to you… go right now… Write. I’d love it if you’d give me a peek into your head. Please tag me when you share your post (if that’s the route you take)!

Go. Write. Now.

*Also, pick up a copy of Sparks in the Dark by Travis Crowder and Todd Nesloney. It will truly illuminate your own spark!

#DBC50Summer 46/50: The Path to Serendipity

/ Alicia Ray / 5 Comments

Finding value in happenstance, an unplanned or fortunate discovery… definitions of serendipity. Choosing to be happy in the face of all that’s happening around you and to you. It’s so easy to say, and oh, so hard to do. Truth is, we all struggle here. When your world feels like it’s falling apart, keeping a smile on your face and contributing to everyone else’s great day is insanely difficult. Misery loves company.

But here’s the real truth. Happiness, joy, positivity… they’re all contagious. Spread that. Tell misery where it can go and allow positive energy to radiate from you.

Want to know a little secret? Actually… two little secrets….

Secret 1: This book is the real reason behind #DBC50Summer. This is where the idea began to form, where the realization that creative alchemy could be the answer to many of my “problems,” where I knew blogging about my reflections, connections, and implementation was the key to my professional growth.

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A DM between Allyson & me on May 16, several days after I read her book for the first time. (Consider yourself tagged, Allyson, ha!)

Secret 2: This blog post was the first one written for #DBC50Summer. I had planned to skim the book, because I practically know it by heart now, and then publish the post I wrote back in late May. I have a slight problem with that though. I deleted the post tonight. I am at a different set of circumstances now. What I wrote then isn’t what I want to share now. So I started from scratch. Well, mostly.

Allyson Apsey told the most inspiring, gut-wrenching, authentic story I had read in the Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc line. She was genuine and vulnerable. (These qualities are why I’m also excited to extend the ideals behind #DBC50Summer past book 50 because book 51 is all about this concept! Stay tuned for that. No clue what it’ll be called – still working on that.)

Allyson became one of my best friends the night I read her book for the first time and I’ve never even spoken to her other than Twitter, much less met her. However, I feel like we’ve had dinner together multiple times, we’ve sat on my couch together sharing our heart, we had a sleepover one night while I reread a few chapters, and even tonight, we hung out in the car while my oldest daughter had softball practice. In reality, I was just reading her book, but The Path to Serendipity is that good.

Here comes your nightly bedtime story that will eventually come full circle and relate to book…

I don’t have a large storage of self-confidence. The stories in my head usually end up with me not being smart enough, eloquent enough, funny enough, pretty enough, likable enough, good enough to match up to anyone. Growing up I always found it easier to get along with guys. I didn’t feel like I was compared to the boys (So what if you can dunk the basketball? I can throw girls 10 feet in the air) like I was with the girls (She looks way cuter in that cheer uniform than I do as she flies through the air… y’all, I always caught her when she came down… well, 99% of the time).

Lately I’ve struggled more so than usual. One dear friend of mine in particular has gotten the short end of the stick lately. I’m constantly comparing myself to this friend thinking there’s no way I’ll ever measure up. They are pretty spectacular; one of those people that everyone wants to be around – insanely “popular” by all middle school clique standards. For me, feeling average, at best, is a good day. Periods of prolonged quietness leads me to believe my friend has finally wised up and realized that I’m not enough. Then the stories start to form in my head and by the time I know what’s going on, I’ve put up defense mechanisms, made some snide comment to protect myself, and feel guilty and apologize. It’s a vicious cycle. Don’t get me wrong, when I get out of my own way, the friendship is definitely a positive one. I just find myself apologizing more than ever lately because my self-confidence seems to have hit a record low. Funny how that happens, isn’t it? Tell me y’all know exactly what I’m talking about, right?

This new set of circumstances compelled me to delete the original post I made about this book. Now I’m taking a closer look at quotes from the book and Glasser’s Choice Theory that Allyson discusses in the book. Apparently my gas tank for belonging is super large and rather empty at the moment. From reading (and rereading) I know I need to provide myself an environment that gives opportunities to refuel this tank.

Relating these behaviors back to Choice Theory, perhaps my aforementioned friend has larger tanks for freedom and fun, which would depersonalize the behavior of silence. Maybe just being aware of the different sized tanks will help? (If that’s the case, consider yourself told, friend. My belonging tank is large, haha!) Allyson’s third and sixth stop tonight got me.

All you need to do is move inch by inch toward the person you want to become; that is enough. You are enough.

~Allyson Apsey

The only person who has control over our behavior is us…I cannot blame my behavior on how someone else is making me feel.

~Allyson Apsey

So yeah… I read that second quote tonight and immediately contacted my friend to apologize for my erratic behavior lately. I have to work to make myself feel better. My friend is not responsible for my actions and there are things I can do to make myself feel better, like listening to music, having my own dance party, organizing (yes, that’s a real coping mechanism for me). I can “peel the onion” as Allyson says to discover what’s really at the heart of my irritation and struggle in self-confidence.

Here’s where it comes full circle…

Keeping all of this in mind, realizing that I am 33 years old and I struggle with this, don’t I realize my middle school students and all of their pubescent hormonal teen brains are dealing with this times 100?!?! When they lash out at school, it’s not against me. They are showing that they need something. They need a tank filled – whether it’s belonging, fun, power, survival, or freedom. I need to create that environment for them.

One of our students who is already notorious for trouble (less than a month into school) saw me in the hall this morning and gave me the biggest hug. He is looking for a balance between belonging, freedom, and power. I am doing all I can to provide that for him. Rather than accusatory remarks, I ask questions. I give him extra trust and relay that I expect him to live up to that trust. I speak to him like he’s an equal. He respects that and responds to it positively.

My implementation plan for this book is a bit sneaky… hopefully those I work with will just skip right over this blog post (if they’re even reading them, HA – hey friends). I plan to use Glasser’s Choice Theory and the idea of depersonalizing behavior and choosing to be joyful in each day and weave it into digital learning professional development. How in the world can that be done, you ask? Well… I need content to share when showcasing a tool like PearDeck or EdPuzzle. Why not find a video or require a response while watching in EdPuzzle, or read a short article and respond on PearDeck? Boom – digital tool shared and Glasser’s Choice Theory continually popping up this year. Shhh… don’t tell them my diabolical plan! (Insert evil laugh here.)

I can’t begin to tell you how incredible this book is. It’s not just an educational book, it’s an everybody book. If you’re an adult, with life experience, you will relate to this book. (Pssst… that means you.) So go get yourself a copy. In fact, I’d go ahead and get one for a friend, partner, spouse, coworker, whomever so you’ve got a reading buddy. You’ll need to talk this one out.

I didn’t have a reading buddy. Instead, I tweeted. Like crazy. I read this one in one sitting and tweeted the entire time I read. Here’s a few of the highlights. (Oh, and spoiler… acronym alert! Naturally – it was published by Dave and Shelley Burgess, right?)

I also love this tweet from my #EduHero, Cristina Dajero! By the way, you should go follow her, right now.

Allyson is totally getting big hugs when I finally get to meet her!

So here’s your checklist of sorts for the night, friends.

  1. Go buy The Path to Serendipity.
  2. Go follow Allyson Apsey on Twitter.
  3. Put a column in TweetDeck for #Path2Serendipity
  4. Visit Allyson’s website here and sign up for her newsletter. More great stuff coming from her soon! You can also see her podcasts and interviews here.
  5. Subscribe to her YouTube channel and definitely check out her Book Talk on each stop! (These air live around 7:00 pm on Sunday evenings – watch her tweets for updates and notifications when she goes live)
  6. Finally, you must go read my friend Andrea Paulakovich‘s (creator of global collaborative space on flipgrid for every DBC, Inc book) #DBC50Summer post on The Path to Serendipity. It is beautiful!
  7. Did you do number 1 yet? Go… now.

Once you’ve read, cried (if you’ve not, you may have more in common with the Grinch than you first thought…just saying), and reflected, join us over in the flipgrid space (Andrea lets me co-pilot, oh em gee! She’s super-awesome!) and share your thoughts there.

Allyson, I cannot end this post without saying thank you. Thank you for exposing your heart, sharing your very personal story, and pulling me into every word you wrote. I appreciate you and am so thankful for your friendship! You rock, sweet lady! I’d work for you any day of the week!

Y’all… we’re getting so close. It’s like I can hear a mash-up of the Theme from Rocky and It’s the Final Countdown (which also aired in a Rocky movie) playing in the background. Book 47 is coming up and I’m so pumped to finally read it! This one was released just one day after the seeds of #DBC50Summer were planted, so I’ve waited to read it until now. I am so, so, so very excited to finally dig into Jay Billy‘s Lead with Culture – the first of the Lead Like A Pirate Guide Books! I’m guessing that with the level of incredible from Shelley Burgess and Beth Houf in their book, the guides have got to be amazing!

#DBC50Summer 45/50: Let Them Speak!

/ Alicia Ray / 1 Comment

At the end of (almost) every year, I had my students complete a survey. I still have the student surveys from my first year that share what they liked most and what they wanted to see changed. These were so powerful to me because my fifth graders had more insight than I ever imagined. In the following years, my fifth graders would write letters to the upcoming fifth graders. If students allowed me to, I would read their letters and was always blown away by the advice they would give my future students. The things that I had hoped they would walk away with, they usually did. And then some. When I transitioned to the media center, I asked my 3rd-5th grade students in a survey (and my K-2 students in open conversation) about their time in the media center. Using these results, I would begin planning for the next year.

The problem was that I wasn’t asking soon enough and often enough. I know that now. Immediately after reading this book for the first time, I asked my middle school students to take a survey called “Talk to Me” (if you aren’t sure why this is ironic, stick around after #DBC50Summer is over… the irony is definitely there) For the first time ever, I am sharing some of the results of this survey.

The book that inspired the survey to ask the “hard questions” is Let Them Speak! by Rebecca Coda and Rick Jetter (the amazing folks who brought us Escaping the School Leader’s Dunk Tank)! I’ll wait while you go get your own copy real quick. You’re going to want it.

All checked out? Ready to move on?

I asked students to share the good, bad, and ugly about their middle school experience. My only stipulation was that they did not use this as a platform to destroy another teacher, to talk negatively about personality conflicts, etc. I made it amply clear that this is not permission to bash another teacher to me. I don’t like when teachers talk about one another, especially not in front of students, so I didn’t want this to become a sounding board for teacher “dissing”. What I got was raw, open, amazingly honest responses from my students that I value more than ever before.

Below are some of the answers I received from my students.

What would you want to talk about in media this year that we didn’t talk about? *I will use these to create next year’s lessons*

  • Definitely memes. We need more of those, they didn’t get their time to shine.
  • I would like you to talk about bullying and its consequences whether it be digital or not
  • Developing/creating suspense within a story.
  • Bullying/discrimination or about other cultures and learn about them
  • Something about all of the struggles that the world faced this year, I think we should talk about it and not ignore it.

What do you want changed about your media space?

  • I like the Media Centers look but more Art and Vibrant colors on the wall could be really cool
  • I don’t think we need any change in our environment currently we have a very comfortable and creative learning environment.
  • I’d like for it to be a little more “free”/”open” to us more than just once a month. Going once a month is fine, but I think that there should be more opportunities to use resources in the media center than just once a month.
  • I would like more space to read at

Is there anything you want to share about anything related to media?

  • I love Mrs. Ray, she’s super energetic and loves us and what she does.
  • I just love that class. It makes me happy when we get to go
  • One thing i like about this class is that the teacher is enthusiastic and happy about teaching with a good attitude.
  • I don’t think we should have to have to check out a fiction and nonfiction book because what if someone wanted two fiction or nonfiction books.
  • You can be a little to enthusiastic just tone it down a notch or 40 (sorry Mrs.Ray)
  • Maybe not think so much about what you think we might like if that makes sense.

What would you like to see changed at your school?

  • I’d like to see the students actually having a voice in what goes on
  • More one on one times with teachers.
  • I would like for the people to start treating homophobic terms like racist terms.
  • Students can have more say in decisions
  • To have a cheer team
  • i would like to see more kids becoming a group and being friends , kids coming together against bullying

 

Here are tweets of the information as I extrapolated the data last year.
These answers were literally copied and pasted. So now what? What do we do with this?
We listen. We try to get better. We ask our students if we got better. We don’t wait until the end of the year to ask again. We ask early and we ask often.
This year it is my goal to be better, more diligent and purposeful about asking the tough questions. I will be on their turf. What I love about our media center is that it is their space. Our media center is their turf. I am able to have honest conversations in this space. They share things with me that they may not share elsewhere. That is a privilege and a huge responsibility. They are entrusting me with the information to make their experience better. I hope I live up to that expectation for them.
This book is a game-changer. You can feel Rebecca and Rick’s passion for student voice poured into every word they say. Their Let Them Speak! project is so powerful and hearing the words from the students gets me every time. If we just ask students, they will likely answer. If you haven’t developed a relationship with them that is strong enough to promote and accept their truth, have them complete an anonymous survey.
Want to know what it looks like when you ask students their opinions and they know you’re going to take it seriously?

Our students are incredible perceptive. They know things and have a depth of knowledge we’ve not even tapped into that has nothing to do with the DOK that we’re accustomed to considering. Ask them. Just ask them. See what happens.

I cannot possibly share how important it is to read this book. My students are my number ONE priority. Aren’t they yours? Ask them their opinions. Talk with them. Get on their turf. Build the relationships that allows these authentic conversations about controversial, difficult topics. You won’t be disappointed. Here are some of my favorite quotes from Let Them Speak!

“Humans should come before numbers.”

“If we take the time to value adult voice and adult stories, we must take the time to mine for student voice and student stories. Not only is it fair, but it is what is right!”

“Be brave enough to ask, open enough to listen, and wise enough to act when student voice is activated.”

“Our students listen when we speak and something they might overhear us saying can have a lasting impact on them. Our words can hurt their feelings.”

“It’s never too late to activate student voice at any stage of a process in order to improve anything that we do.”

I hope that it is evident that this post has a more somber feel than many of my other #DBC50Summer posts. I also hope that it is obvious why this particular post cuts out a lot of my typical sarcasm. This is important. It’s too important to cheapen with sarcasm. Our students need to be heard. Are you willing to listen?

I could go on and on about this book. I’m just going to say again that you need to buy it. Now. If you are a classroom teacher, administrator, superintendent, you should buy it. You should read it. Then you should start asking questions. On their turf. This is their education. Let’s hear them out. Well-done, Rebecca and Rick. Very, very well done.

Oh, and the implementation plan. Keep asking the questions. I will be asking the 6 questions from the book used in the Let Them Speak! project.

  • What don’t we, as educators, understand about you, the students at this school?
  • What is something that you wish we could do better?
  • What have we failed to recognize about you or your experiences as a student at our school?
  • Is there anything that upsets you about our school that we should fix, rethink, eliminate, or no longer ignore?
  • What do you value the most about your learning experiences at our school?
  • How do you feel the night before coming to school on a new day, after a weekend, or after a holiday or summer vacation?

For more, follow the hashtag #LetStudentsSpeak and connect with Rebecca and Rick on Twitter at @rebeccacoda and @rickjetter, respectively. I highly recommend checking out the Where Are The Pirates? section of the new Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc website! This is an incredible place to find where each author is (including Rick and Rebecca) on social media and the web. Check out the Let Them Speak! website here! You can also access the flipgrid here and share about a time that you listened to your students and changed something in your practice. Thank you, Andrea Paulakovich, for allowing me to be a co-pilot in this wonderful idea of yours for a global collaboration space for all things DBC, Inc! Have you bought your copy of the book yet? You should. Here’s the link again! Go. Buy!

Only 5 books left in #DBC50Summer! This is so hard to believe and I’m really sad to see it end! (Thankfully, DBC, Inc isn’t done releasing books! I’ve got more coming – just have to figure out a new name for this journey!) Also… do you remember that secret I alluded to in the Summer Recap 4? It’s coming up in the next post. Book 46 is The Path to Serendipity by Allyson Apsey. Can’t wait to share my secret, and this book, with you next!